unbearable.
hello world
today went to jane's house to see her one month old baby. its really cute . X) . haha . didn't manage to like take a very clear look at him nor take pictures. but i did take with my cousins and nephew. XD
me aaron grace. XD
ok so thereafter i went to play badminton with my dad at the club . got quite aggitated wit one father and son pair while playing doubles. like seriously annoying. lol .
so got home ate dinner and my gum started to hurt damn badly. X( .
pictures taken that day ! X)) . 
me and B.F.F! X).
HAHA. tts y we are BEST FRENS !! Xpp.
shilah and me ! X). yep B.F.F and me always bully her . bleh! Xp.
3 of us . ! XD.
chaos
p.s. oh no. 1 more day!. X(.
posted by shutupworld 10:41 PM
whenthetimeisright.
hello world
went out with bff and shilah today. gawd. had so much fun hanging out with you all . X)) . bought a new bag . update photos tmr.
something cropped up . some arse betrayed me. great.! . ya true he'll know eventually but wtf how m i gonna ans. thanks to whoever did it out there! .
chaos!
p.s. hope you're happy doing that . HA! .
posted by shutupworld 11:09 PM
dead beat.
hello world
today was such a hectic and tiring day but it was quite fun thou . went to school then proceeded to clementi to have subway with juniors. X)) . then walked back to school from there. well we explored the boarding house at our school. and gosh! . it really looks like hdb district like seriously ! . so today we trained without a coach . and kinda settled the coach issue but i'm very sure some will not be very happy about this decision. and at the end of the day i'll be the villian. i'm used to it.
i don't know why but i'm getting the hang of everything so easily. the heck care attitude makes me rather perturbed. just suddenly feels kinda weird. waiting. and waiting. there's no water. scram.
no you don't understand. ha ha.
well tomorrow would be a boring day at home. prolly meeting B.F.F on friday. saturday gonna go to my cousin's house to see her baby. its one month old. X) . i think it'll be rather shuai cause both the parents are good looking . X) . haha .
chaos
p.s. choices.
posted by shutupworld 11:52 PM
morning ~!
hello world!
just edited my dragonfly picture to zoom it so it clearer now ! . X)))). hohoho ...
shiat the pic wouldn't listen . X(( . oh wells. X(
updates later.!~. ^^
chaos!
p.s. “Depth of friendship does not depend on length of acquaintance.”, Rabindranath Tagore
back !
didn't meet up with B.F.F today . X(( . she had to look after her grandpa. its ok ... shall meet up next week ? X)) .
today's weather was damn good which caused me to eat a whole lot again. haha . i dun care ~ . :X . sigh . there'll always be problem when it come to arranging trngs. damn sian can . i oso Don't Care !~ . hur hur hur . subway lunching tmr with the team ! . X)) .. put aside all my unhappiness and binge! . hohoho .
tv for the last week. itp starts next week!! . X(( . sigh ... sian ar ! .
chaos.~
posted by shutupworld 10:00 AM
fat, fatter, fattest! .
hello world
gawd i'm getting uber fat !. HAHA . anyways met kelly and all to celebrate mich's birthday today. well i didn't stay for so long as i had smth on at home and had to leave early . so kelly kinda bullied me a whole lot lol . ooo forgot to give michelle a birthday bash . XD .
so this was what i got for her !! ~~ XD
haha . ok so this morning i took a few random pictures ! . X)) .
fat shit. ~ XD
I TOOK A PIC OF A DRAGONFLY! X)))))
hehe . Xpp
yay ! gonna meet my B.F.F tmr ! ^^ ..
chaos!
p.s. i'dratherbedrunkthansobertowitnesstheworldcrumble.
posted by shutupworld 8:54 PM
so long...
hello world.
random post ! . X). well weekends are ultimately boring except the fact that i played badminton with a few of my juniors. X) . well had kfc and went to get my fren's present at tampines.
today woke up tv all the way then watch one quarter of changeling and i gave up watching cause the entire web was frustrating me. asked may siew for another link so i downloaded the device wanted to watch but it was all in chinese words. totally lost. i gave up in the end and slept. haha .
anyways ... was chatting since just now till now....
brudder wingy randomly told me this..."the closer you get to someone, the higher chance of that person walking out of your life". i think its really true. probably thats the reason why they say time determines everything.
well there's so many changes and happenings around me. its kinda hard to breathe. thoughts comes in whenever something happens. nowadays i really got irritated by my dad's habit of having to smoke practically every hour. its really depriving me of fresh O2. sometimes i really wish to just burn up all his cigarattes. but even so he can still buy it lol . sigh . sometimes i really envy those families who have fresh air everyday. sometimes its so hard to express how i feel. when i want to explain something about something nobody understands. the feeling inside it not mere happy, sad, fear kind of feelings but its well.... a mixture of it.
i used to be afraid of eating alone, shopping alone, asking for enquires alone, etc. but now.... i've no idea why but am doing it quite frequently. i had lunch alone 2 times this week. went shopping alone once this week. i've changed. for the better? hmmm i'm not very sure.
yesterday, i was trying to tell my mum something. she stopped me half way and she said ' can you speak properly'. gosh how i wish i could. it just seems that talking more than 20 words makes me tongue tied. i hardly have been talking ever since the last project started and ended. o wells..
shall upload wad i bought for my fren tomorrow. X) .
chaos!.
p.s. indescribable.
posted by shutupworld 6:41 PM
tough qn.
hello world
gawd . i did nothing the entire day but eat eat and eat. jtc person called today. my mouth was still full lol . she spoke so fast. anyways . i'm pretty freaked out by the fact that i'm going to work soon. X( .
oo i did some cards today. my hands was living art for a few mins . lawl!
tada!
friggin dirty right? haha . was trying out the pastels that i bought for my last project. well the effect i did for my fren's card was not bad actually . X) . can't show it here thou . Xp .will show it after i've given it to her. but these were my drafts . XD
was flipping my photo album and found a pretty funny picture of me and my sis when we were young. XD. cute eh? haha .
today was such a boring day. gonna exercise tomorrow like finally i'm seriously getting fatter ! . XD . gonna cut my hair soon again . pimples poping out . ! X(( .
chaos!
p.s.how nice if i could just pour out my feelings but ... i can't. idon'thavethegutsto.
posted by shutupworld 11:50 PM
change
hello world
I'M EARLY TODAY !! XD.
gawd dad woke me up from my nightmare. lol . but i'm feeling so sleepy ! . T.T . i just finished my cover letter and resume. X) . haha . shall go out soon to print pictures ! .X)) .
another random thought hit me. i realised how much i've changed. from a hyper, funny, crazy girl to a boring, lame, hyperly crazy girl. lol .
(getblinded!)Xpp
updates later~
BACK!XD
its 10.44pm now. went to develop photos in the afternoon. had lunch then went home.
these were the photos i developed today. XD
i'm bored.. thinking so much. I REALLY WANNA LEARN ELECTRIC GUITAR!!!!. gawd. parents just won't budge.! X(.
chaos
p.s. prolly most of us would be migrating in the future.
posted by shutupworld 10:05 AM
suddenly
hello world
gawd i feel so free now. brought back my files by putting it in my mum's car. Xpp . haha . chilled out a while with the rest in the studio . took pictures then went home. kind soul offered to help me with the files but its ok was with my mum already . XD ... thank you kind soul ! LOL! . XD
had lunch and breakfast at 3pm. gosh . was super hungry lol . didn't do much today thou . gonna develop photos tomorrow. hehe ...
pictures that we took today ! X))
ceci and me
AUNTIE KELLY and ME ! XD
haha. ok i'm only gonna post this photo. the other one would be a blackmailing photo for yr 3 ! hohoho . ! LOL! . XD .
us with mr idris and ms sokna.
part of the class with mr idris and ms sokna
twist ! XD .
yupp its the last day of year 2 . slogged for another year. i'll miss the lecturers. Xpp. grateful for their guidance. X))
chaos!
p.s. nothing'sgonnabethesame.
posted by shutupworld 9:21 PM
stuffed.
hello world
had subway today. went to school thereafter. waited for so damn long for my processes to arrive. she came late. something happened. i suggested that i paid the balance foolishly. i know i was stupid. wadever. its ok . i'll learn. i'll see . i'll be careful. i'll watch out. that explains.
submitted on time. got back results. quite satisfied. X) . i'm glad all of us passed. going back to school tomorrow to collect my file and book . gosh . i think i'll die carrying both my file home lol . any kind soul can give me a lift home?? HAHA . so impossible. Xpp .
prolly i'm just too soft hearted to give in so easily. sometimes i feel bad using my parents money so frequently. i hate the fact that i still don't have a dream.
whythefirstpersonithinkofwheneveri'mfacedwithaproblemisyou?.
chaos
p.s. good luck for the exams ! hatethisscaryworld.
posted by shutupworld 8:21 PM
presence.
hello world
woke up had breakfast started on my htld journal not done till now . X(( ... i get aggitated by the littlest things around me. figuring out why . i've no idea. X( . had subway today. didn't exercise cos the weather was bad. my hand is sore from copying notes into the htld journal. listened to beautiful disaster for the entire day. had jackfruit. had dinner while watching tv. gawd boring boring boring . now back to copying notes again. gawd.... sore... T.T . i wanna go out shopping !! . X(( ...
back to copying my boring notes. X(
chaos!
p.s. sometimes things can't be determined by us, but destiny.
just another random thought after reading someone else's blog thou. sometimes you may list out a list of standards that you may want your other half to be this that and that, but reality is love isn't that simple. its the attitude the character links the chemistry. changing of attitude may help her for starters. however its a sad thing that she doesn't understand her attitude. ( shall stop here).
posted by shutupworld 8:42 PM
inspiration
hello world
i'm back ! . XD . well was watching tv the entire day so far. gonna do what i'm suppose to do soon. well was randomly search through the internet an found some pretty inspiring quotes from a philosopher.
"It is very simple to be happy, but it is very difficult to be simple",
by rabindranath tagore
lol . well i guess as we get older all of us won't be as simple as we think we are. afterall everyone knows the effect of reality. it all falls back on money for survival. reality is cruel. people change and you wouldn't know what lies ahead in years to go. nobody knows what is going to happen or whatsoever. so treasure what you have now.
loves.
update later.~
~~ back !
so meaningless sunday. if somebody had asked me out it'll be less boring. i'm so gonna exercise tomorrow morning. i'm feeling so fat now or rather unfit lol . my stomach is bulging. my chest kinda hurts. X( .
sometimes i just wonder if i'm on the right path of my rocky road. is this what i really want. what i'll be happy with?
cheers to my constant random thoughts . Xp
chaos!
p.s. probablysomeoneknew.
posted by shutupworld 2:35 PM
ok i'm another day late...
hello world.
had a super long day.. woke up rushed dad's card . went out for lunch at riverside hotel. went to collect my dad's bd cake. proceeded to century square to get my dad's watch changed. then got back home. left house about 12pm and got home about 5? rest a while, changed and sang happy birthday for my dad while he cut his cake. X) . then went out . i went to my aunt's house to wait for them as my parents went for francis yip concert and my sis went for her distinction party at her math's tuition teacher's house. so accompanied my aunt as she was also alone at home. entertained her by talking. well brought some work there to do but ended up gluing my eyes on the tv. XD. had dinner there. well had maggie goreng and prata. it was nice. X) . i got home abt 1am lol . my dog chewed up my slipper ... AGAIN ! . X(
pictures for today~!
stupid dog. posing for us .
the card
ok the reason for having euro to pose.
the end product of the card.
birthday 'boy'. XD .
family. X)
thats all for today~.
chaos!
p.s. how i wished that time could stop for a moment.
posted by shutupworld 11:59 PM
nothing comes easy.
hello world
i'm not emo now actually . its just a random thought again . X) . haha . well today generally was quite boring until the crazy telephone test thingy lol i kinda screwed up . X( . anyways .. some random person asked me out lol but its wierd cos we've not met for like 4 yrs! lol !. felt uber wierd so rejected him cos i also have smth on tmr. dad's birthday is tomorrow and i've not finished his card ! . no idea wad to write lol ! . i shall post the picture of the card tmr ! . X)) .
sometimes living in denial could be a good thing.
atleasttheheartisreadyfordisappointments.
chaos!
p.s. happy v day to all ! . X))
posted by shutupworld 11:50 PM
gawd!
hello world
i know i shouldn't be here blogging . oh wells. just finished my 1000 word essay. sheesh. got some replacement for itp and its under zainon. wts. see la laugh at people then kanna yourself. win liao lo . sigh ... emi and i would be seperated once again. X(( ... can't go work together le lo . X((( ... dang shit. all the funny system is caused by lecturers. not the system. dun blame it.
off to sleep~!
we shall be alibis/assassins. LOL! ngahahaha .
chaos
p.s. denial. its my freedom of speech.
posted by shutupworld 12:44 AM
i need a CHILL PILL!!!!
hello world
ok i'm suppose to be studying now I HAVEN EVEN MEMORISED ! NEW PLANT GODDAMMIT!!!! gawd .... so dead . wtf wtf wtfwtf !!!! . shit . i need a chill pill. i'm almost done with 1000 word essay . finished the stupid sungei buloh bo liao shit. gawd.
oh gawd supply me with extended hard drive disk? thumbdrive? ok wadever.
off to cramp up my brain. crash.!
chaos
p.s. thank you womany.
posted by shutupworld 6:30 PM
last day of cny. X(
hello world
time flies. 15 days is over. gosh i haven enjoyed enough. felt so fast.. went to print the a3 thingys today. lol . well was late lol. anyways... went to school had boring lecture stayed in class for a while then went home. In the train, some arse scratched my hand with his stupid plastic covered portfolio and didn't apologise! bloody hell.
went home helped mum prepare dinner. it was a spread man. hock chew shark fin soup, kueh pie tee, prawn and mango salad, yu sheng and fried bee hoon ! oh gawd. i must say that it's a wider spread than the first reunion dinner. gosh! . i had dinner at 7.30 and i'm still feeling bloated even though it 11pm !. gosh! . i think i ate too much.
so much things left to do. X(.
my new bag! X)
shall plan out my time ! XD .
chaos!
p.s. ihopemumwouldbeok.
posted by shutupworld 10:22 PM
beautiful disaster While you may act like you don't care on the outside, on the inside your biggest fear is being alone. You can be quite shy and reserved. You feel like a lot of times people don't really see the real you. You're afraid that no one will really truly love you, and that you will be alone for the rest of your life. On the inside you are great person, so just remember that and don't let your shy nature get the best of you! If you don't want to be a lone then you need to make an effort to be with someone. Show the people that you care about that you really love them, and chances are someone will always be there, even if you think they won't.
hello world
omgawd i just striked off 1 to do thing on my to do list. so much things to do this week.! . gosh ! one test and another practical one. lol ... i shopped at TM today with mum and our shopping trip was a worth while one. i bought a backpack for 18 bucks, mum bought a plain tank for 3 bucks( its a steal! ), a dress for mum and we got dad's present ( which was super ex). i shall upload the pics later today.
was randomly scouting blogs when i came across this test and i tried it and tada the results...What is your True Fear? Your Result: Being Alone Losing Someone Looked down on Disappointment Where Your life is Going Death Commitment What is your True Fear?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz
haha lol ! . well its quite true thou despite the fact that i enjoy being alone? . XD.
anyways gtg now! enjoy ~
chaos!
p.s. somewhere.
posted by shutupworld 12:43 AM
quiet times..fun-filled times.
hello world
oh gawd friday and saturday had been a blast of activities! . i'm exhausted! . i've never had this much fun in ages! . XD .
friday...
okay had to go to class for the last crit session. slept a lil during the crit. then following that had gems test ( gosh i just passed ! 20/40 !!!!) . XD . okayy . so.... went back to the class to slack then went for csw. the telephone practice was interesting so much so that we ended up laughing like mad. XD . gosh ! . its was damn wierd like the feeling was different knowing that we were like side by side doing that telephone conversation.HAHA. well the actuals is this coming week !! ( FREAK OUT !) . XD .
so changed my bag with dad then went to pasir ris to meet sm, raba'a and shila. XD . ray gave us a lift to the place. and by the time we reached i was alrdy damn tired. it was a long day . anyways we watched just my luck before dinner was ready. all of us started eating about like 7 plus? XD . had loadsa laming session . XD . really had that feeling of a family again. X)). haha. we camwhored a hell load man . XD .
PICTURES!!! X))))))
HAHA . yes switch of roles. girls behind yo! X)
me and shalbiah
me and cheryl
jia ning and me.
qiu yue and me ( and no i did not put eye liner okayy ) XD
BFF and me ! XD
threesomes. she-la! raba'a and me ! . XD . yes we always bully shila. XD.
hohoho raba'a! your blackmail picture! X))).. [kfc commercial "finger licking good"] :X . Xpp
BFF's belated bd present for me me me me me ME! !!! X)))
saturday ( today) .
ok so after the crazily fun filled Friday, i had to wake up today for training at 9am in school. i slept at 2am the previous night woke up at 7am this morning. gosh. i was damn tired lol. but i think i played pretty well despite all the crazy physical routines. seriously i think my joints are suffering quite badly. my right arm feels really bad now. my elbow joint is hurting my shoulder bone feels funnily painful while hitting the shuttle. gosh. this is bad. i've never ever had these kinda pain nor had any serious injury before. i wanna know wads with me but i dunno which doc to go to . lol . parents dun even care.
so anyways had kfc for lunch after bathing then proceeded to pasir ris to join them for the chalet again. and omgawd...!!!. i sweat a hell load after playing frisbie and monkey with them. haha . enjoyed myself. X)). oo learnt how to play mahjong with tai. kinda complicated. didn't really catch it fully thou. shall learn again . ( i think i'll forget .. XD) . darren sent me shi and lq home thereafter. so yupps just had dinner like 2 hrs ago. i'm craving for mandarin orange ! XD . ok i shall go eat it . hohoho .
chaos!
p.s. silence isn't emo. its radical random thoughts.
posted by shutupworld 7:58 PM
oh gawd. i almost fell while standing..
hello world
yes i almost fell while standing . i was sleeping in the train while standing . omgawd. i was tired to the extent of sleeping while standing and it isn't my first time. gosh. today was another presentation day played cards in class until lunch time then i didn't play in the afternoon. had lunch outside school went ntuc thereafter. saw trash and his friends. haha . then went back to class for another round of presentations gosh. i'm falling asleep soon . T.T . test tmr. bbq tmr. filing tmr. lessons... T.T i'm gonna die soon. hur hur . lol . so tired.
i'm spending so much money lol !
sobs
chaos
p.s. gonna be broke soon.
posted by shutupworld 6:14 PM
i love dried mandarin orange.. X)
hello world
yes. i love dried mandarin orange. its the only orange i eat. random . Xp
woke up this morning felt really refreshed after a good night's sleep. my dog and dad made a din in the kitchen. there was a really big lizard. really really big.... approx. hmmm 15 inches long?? my dog caught it. he was like playing with it lol . freaked out. i tot the big lizard was like just 3 inch long or something. anyways thereafter, i fried carrot cake for dad for breakfast. my dog had a lil. he's always craving for more. XD .
i'm so glad that wednesday i've got no lessons. free time . X) .
chaos
p.s. wrongtime,wrongemotions.
posted by shutupworld 11:46 AM
seize
seize it.
hello world
gosh woke up an hr late today . was almost late for school. kinda played black jack with money in class ... haha . but its small small only . like 10 cents 20 maybe? XD . each round was like getting more and more lol . anyways i stopped during lunch then had lunch at pizza hut and went back to class to revise and go thru my slides. honestly this time i was more nervous than the previous times as i did not know wad to say . haha ... i think this time round my ppt rawks ! . bahahaha . ( i'm crazy ignore me ) . i like my background . lallalalala. Xpp . anyways i think the comments were neutral ba . nothing like really good or really bad. was like ok safe ! XD. jy to the rest who have not presented yet. X))
my mind has been in a whirl. so much things for me to do. my mind just refuses to work. i dun seem to get moving and get things done. i'm tired. exhausted . i need a break. i kept thinking. thinking about the past. keep thinking about the future. it all seems to appear the same. flashbacks seems like memories that will never fade. so near yet feels so far. i'm confused. confused about how i feel. confused about my judgement. lost faith.
wo mei you zi ai.
chaos!
p.s. forget. seize the memories.
posted by shutupworld 9:46 PM
huge chaos!
hello world
others are presenting their project while i'm here blogging. yes i'm bad . XD. anyways ... stayed up till 5am yest and managed to catch an hr of sleep. came to school early seeing people walk in with the really restless face just reflects every other project submission days. oh wells i guess most of us are already used to it. my stomach was protesting at about 3am lol . and kelly lost her file while copying her cd. it got corrupted half way lol . if i were her i would go crazy. fortunately she's fast . XD ... in the afternoon i was also forced to go to some lunch with my parents and it kinda was a wasteof time. me and sis sat there like some dumbell while adults were in their own world. gosh its so typical. boring
i'm the last one to present tmr !! gosh ! . going shopping thereafter. have to tell my mum today thou . anyways ... gotta go soon . i shall go home and get a good rest. X))
chaos!
p.s. pimples.. X(( ... zombiefied!
posted by shutupworld 3:14 PM
